FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE
Well, kind of. But it’s recently been proven that controlled, specific fires can reduce greenhouse gasses. This technique reduces carbon dioxide by 18 to 25 percent and in some forests, it can burn and get rid of 60 percent of the carbon dioxide in that area. Now this makes you think: how on earth did they discover this? Well, satellite images showed decreasing carbon dioxide in controlled fire areas. These fires also help plant new forests, making a new healthier planet, and the decreased carbon dioxide levels decrease the chances of forest fires. This research caused controversy, because some scientists say this proves global warming is caused by us, because we burn fuel and not wood, explaining why the middle ages were much colder than present earth, because we industrially and mass burn oil and fossil fuels. Other scientists just say that climate change exists and this means nothing. On the lighter side, the government could save 1.2 billion dollars on trying to stop fires, which they would no longer need to do. This technique is still being research if it can be mass done.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
New article......and its REAL!
Zombies?
New studies show that cryonically frozen corpses ay have a chance of coming back to life. The scientists think they can achieve this with “nano-robots.” Nano-robots? Some scientists think this is just fake and imagination but scientists at the Alcor Life Foundation think otherwise. They think that they can clone a cell from the corpse and make a robotic clone from that cloned cell. Cloning a clone sounds ridiculous, but you won’t be laughing when Walt Disney is writing the next Pixar movie. You might be thinking that you can come back to life when you’re dead, but think again. It costs $80,000 to freeze just your head alone, and thousands more to freeze your entire corpse. The process of the resurrection would be
1. Take Body Out Of Cryo
2. Install “Nanobots”
3. Wait for body to thaw
4. Let “Nanobots” fix and replace deteriorated cells, tissue and brain
5. Hope it works
If the process succeeds as planned, the resurrected person would live longer and healthier than the past life, now that’s what I call a good afterlife. This technology is expected to be tested around 2050 at the least, and use hundreds of millions of dollars. Want to know where your taxes are going? Well there’s your answer.
New studies show that cryonically frozen corpses ay have a chance of coming back to life. The scientists think they can achieve this with “nano-robots.” Nano-robots? Some scientists think this is just fake and imagination but scientists at the Alcor Life Foundation think otherwise. They think that they can clone a cell from the corpse and make a robotic clone from that cloned cell. Cloning a clone sounds ridiculous, but you won’t be laughing when Walt Disney is writing the next Pixar movie. You might be thinking that you can come back to life when you’re dead, but think again. It costs $80,000 to freeze just your head alone, and thousands more to freeze your entire corpse. The process of the resurrection would be
1. Take Body Out Of Cryo
2. Install “Nanobots”
3. Wait for body to thaw
4. Let “Nanobots” fix and replace deteriorated cells, tissue and brain
5. Hope it works
If the process succeeds as planned, the resurrected person would live longer and healthier than the past life, now that’s what I call a good afterlife. This technology is expected to be tested around 2050 at the least, and use hundreds of millions of dollars. Want to know where your taxes are going? Well there’s your answer.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
REAL ARTICLE
Man Goes Cross Country with Elvis Passport
Do you think that after the Christmas Bomber that the Amsterdam Airport would be safe and secure? You’re wrong. A man got through with an Elvis Presley passport. It was an E-passport, but it still was Elvis Presley. Adam Laurie, the man in charge of the security says it was a ‘test’ but with the low security ratings and criticism about it, no one can be sure. The passport did pass through the automated passport machines. Amsterdam Airport wanted to make their airport high tech and iconic, but ever since this ‘upgrade’ security seems to of gone way down. This Elvis passport shows that anyone can hack an e-passport, and that asks the question, “is this e-passport necessary?” The Elvis Passport case is still under investigation.
Do you think that after the Christmas Bomber that the Amsterdam Airport would be safe and secure? You’re wrong. A man got through with an Elvis Presley passport. It was an E-passport, but it still was Elvis Presley. Adam Laurie, the man in charge of the security says it was a ‘test’ but with the low security ratings and criticism about it, no one can be sure. The passport did pass through the automated passport machines. Amsterdam Airport wanted to make their airport high tech and iconic, but ever since this ‘upgrade’ security seems to of gone way down. This Elvis passport shows that anyone can hack an e-passport, and that asks the question, “is this e-passport necessary?” The Elvis Passport case is still under investigation.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
APRIL FOOLS 3----EDITED
New Ketchup Product Revealed---Tomatoes Revolt!
The new product: Ketch-A-Hoy, is a new ketchup product that uses twice as many tomatoes as regular ketchup. Now, tomatoes are terrified, running away, even fighting back. Bobby Bobs, was the most recent victim of this attack. “They nibbled my arm off, and ate my toes.” He says.
Inst-ant Jello, the another victim says “They stole my dog, and they ate my bladder.” The tomato leader, Joe Heinz, says “These people have no right to slaughter us vegetables, and we won’t take this. We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them on the landing grounds, AND in the fields. We will NEVER surrender!” Joe Heinz is currently being sued by Winston Churchill for that speech. But that sue-worthy speech did inspire the tomatoes to fight humans on the beaches, landing grounds and fields. Darth Vader was inspired by these tomatoes. “I think *wooshy breath* that the *wooshy breath* tomatoes deserve a better *wooshy breath* lifestyle than being *wooshy breath*slaughtered by ketchup.” Currently, the tomatoes are still in revolt, and tomato hunters are still mysteriously disappearing. Joe Heinz is still in court.
The new product: Ketch-A-Hoy, is a new ketchup product that uses twice as many tomatoes as regular ketchup. Now, tomatoes are terrified, running away, even fighting back. Bobby Bobs, was the most recent victim of this attack. “They nibbled my arm off, and ate my toes.” He says.
Inst-ant Jello, the another victim says “They stole my dog, and they ate my bladder.” The tomato leader, Joe Heinz, says “These people have no right to slaughter us vegetables, and we won’t take this. We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them on the landing grounds, AND in the fields. We will NEVER surrender!” Joe Heinz is currently being sued by Winston Churchill for that speech. But that sue-worthy speech did inspire the tomatoes to fight humans on the beaches, landing grounds and fields. Darth Vader was inspired by these tomatoes. “I think *wooshy breath* that the *wooshy breath* tomatoes deserve a better *wooshy breath* lifestyle than being *wooshy breath*slaughtered by ketchup.” Currently, the tomatoes are still in revolt, and tomato hunters are still mysteriously disappearing. Joe Heinz is still in court.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
ApRiL FoOl aRtIcLe nUmBeR tWo
Donkey’s Shrinking!
As of February, donkeys have been losing considerable body weight and size. These effects have been occurring all over the planet, to all donkeys of all types, colors, shapes, and sizes. Travel and trade in the middle-east has been rapidly declining, due to the donkey’s smaller sizes and less strength. Caravans have stopped, and water supply is dying out in the dryer areas. The middle-east is suffering the most from this odd event, due to their main source of transport being a donkey. Dr. Austin Austin thinks that this is ‘shrinkage’ is good. “Death’s from donkeys in the middle-east are declining,” he says. “It’s more dangerous to die riding a donkey then flying on a plane. Maybe this donkey decline is to our advantage.” Dr. Jone Jones disagrees.
“I think donkeys are an essential part to the economy, Maybe not to us for now, but if the middle east declines, we will go to help. People will be dying, and they’ll need our support. And if we don’t support, we’ll have a lot of trouble.” That was the last we heard of both the doctors, they might of died riding their donkeys back home.
Also in the Middle East, the larger, more able donkeys are being stolen, considering their capabilities of actually moving stuff. Many donkeys are in quarantine for research, and the results are astounding. Apparently, donkeys are being mutated into “Baby Donkeys.” The same incidents happened to baby carrots, baby corn, and smurfs. The cause of this is still under investigation.
PICTURES TO THE RIGHT AT THE TOP FOR THE ARTICLE--------->
As of February, donkeys have been losing considerable body weight and size. These effects have been occurring all over the planet, to all donkeys of all types, colors, shapes, and sizes. Travel and trade in the middle-east has been rapidly declining, due to the donkey’s smaller sizes and less strength. Caravans have stopped, and water supply is dying out in the dryer areas. The middle-east is suffering the most from this odd event, due to their main source of transport being a donkey. Dr. Austin Austin thinks that this is ‘shrinkage’ is good. “Death’s from donkeys in the middle-east are declining,” he says. “It’s more dangerous to die riding a donkey then flying on a plane. Maybe this donkey decline is to our advantage.” Dr. Jone Jones disagrees.
“I think donkeys are an essential part to the economy, Maybe not to us for now, but if the middle east declines, we will go to help. People will be dying, and they’ll need our support. And if we don’t support, we’ll have a lot of trouble.” That was the last we heard of both the doctors, they might of died riding their donkeys back home.
Also in the Middle East, the larger, more able donkeys are being stolen, considering their capabilities of actually moving stuff. Many donkeys are in quarantine for research, and the results are astounding. Apparently, donkeys are being mutated into “Baby Donkeys.” The same incidents happened to baby carrots, baby corn, and smurfs. The cause of this is still under investigation.
PICTURES TO THE RIGHT AT THE TOP FOR THE ARTICLE--------->
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
April Fools Article #1
Potato Brutally Attacked
Nelson Hernandez, a normal 8th grader, went half insane and took his anger out on a normal, average spud. French Fry, the neighbor of this potato heard the sounds. “It was like listening to a deep fryer at McDonalds,” he said.
“I’ve never heard something pounded and fried as loud as that.” It all happened late Sunday morning when Nelson was taking a walk in the park, and he saw Brent Hall, and got extremely angry. He went to the nearest Spud-hood, and broke into the closest house. Apparently, he went into the kitchen, and stole all the butter he could take. Before he left the house, one of the potatoes spotted him. He quickly beat the potato with one of the sticks of butter, knocking it unconscious. He then threw it in the deep fryer and left. Luckily, about 2 minutes later, Big Daddy Spud saw him, and broke into the house, and got the potato out of the fryer. The potato is in hospital currently, and things aren’t looking too good. “He’s got greased,” Dr.Potato-Salad says. “If he makes it, he’ll be greasy the rest of his life.” When we heard this, we decided to ask people in the neighborhood if he will make it. The first potato we asked was SpudMan. He said, “Oh Yeah! Of course he’ll make it. As long as he drinks Spud Lite, he’ll be INCREDIBLE!” The next spud was Mrs.SpudderWorths. “As long as he stays sweet, he’ll be fine. Extra thick too!” After the interviews, we wanted to see the situation with Nelson Hernandez, global threat to potato safety. We went to the local, farm-fresh prison. Nelson was there, in his cell. We were able to go in there and interview him. “Why’d you do it?” we asked.
“When I see Brent’s face, it makes me hungry…….for butter.” That’s all we needed. Nelson Hernandez has eaten 20 pounds of butter every day ever since he’s been imprisoned. He had a heart attack. He is now dead.
Nelson Hernandez, a normal 8th grader, went half insane and took his anger out on a normal, average spud. French Fry, the neighbor of this potato heard the sounds. “It was like listening to a deep fryer at McDonalds,” he said.
“I’ve never heard something pounded and fried as loud as that.” It all happened late Sunday morning when Nelson was taking a walk in the park, and he saw Brent Hall, and got extremely angry. He went to the nearest Spud-hood, and broke into the closest house. Apparently, he went into the kitchen, and stole all the butter he could take. Before he left the house, one of the potatoes spotted him. He quickly beat the potato with one of the sticks of butter, knocking it unconscious. He then threw it in the deep fryer and left. Luckily, about 2 minutes later, Big Daddy Spud saw him, and broke into the house, and got the potato out of the fryer. The potato is in hospital currently, and things aren’t looking too good. “He’s got greased,” Dr.Potato-Salad says. “If he makes it, he’ll be greasy the rest of his life.” When we heard this, we decided to ask people in the neighborhood if he will make it. The first potato we asked was SpudMan. He said, “Oh Yeah! Of course he’ll make it. As long as he drinks Spud Lite, he’ll be INCREDIBLE!” The next spud was Mrs.SpudderWorths. “As long as he stays sweet, he’ll be fine. Extra thick too!” After the interviews, we wanted to see the situation with Nelson Hernandez, global threat to potato safety. We went to the local, farm-fresh prison. Nelson was there, in his cell. We were able to go in there and interview him. “Why’d you do it?” we asked.
“When I see Brent’s face, it makes me hungry…….for butter.” That’s all we needed. Nelson Hernandez has eaten 20 pounds of butter every day ever since he’s been imprisoned. He had a heart attack. He is now dead.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Article 6
CYBER TERRORISM
Apparently in Iran, there is a “Cyber Army” taking out large sites to create terror. In December, if you noticed twitter being offline, these terrorists caused that. Now in China, Baidu, China’s largest search engine was shut down for 4 hours Tuesday. These hackers have also hit Facebook, MySpace, and have threatened Google. These hackers haven’t been tracked, and the only thing known about them is that they are in Iran and are terrorists. Baidu is larger then Google in terms of visits-a-day, probably because China has about 3x as many people than America, and Google isn’t often used if used at all in China. These terrorists are regarded as a threat and have not been found.
Apparently in Iran, there is a “Cyber Army” taking out large sites to create terror. In December, if you noticed twitter being offline, these terrorists caused that. Now in China, Baidu, China’s largest search engine was shut down for 4 hours Tuesday. These hackers have also hit Facebook, MySpace, and have threatened Google. These hackers haven’t been tracked, and the only thing known about them is that they are in Iran and are terrorists. Baidu is larger then Google in terms of visits-a-day, probably because China has about 3x as many people than America, and Google isn’t often used if used at all in China. These terrorists are regarded as a threat and have not been found.
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